


a funny thing happened on the way to the apocalypse

by kgmps2



Series: Never Prophesied [1]
Category: Never Satisfied (Webcomic)
Genre: Good Omens AU, nobody from gomens proper will be appearing so I'm not putting this in the main tag, that being said I'm more familiar w the miniseries than w the book as of the first chapter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-12
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-10-17 07:40:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20617400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kgmps2/pseuds/kgmps2
Summary: a bastard angel, a good demon, and a misplaced antichrist: but not the ones you know.





	a funny thing happened on the way to the apocalypse

**Author's Note:**

> welcome to the _Good Omens_ AU I'm finally starting to publish! I'm choosing to post everything for the AU as separate works in a single series - this will be for the "main" plot regarding angel!Seiji, demon!Sylas, and antichrist!Lucy.   
I'm not sure yet how many works I'll be publishing in this series, but the other works are where I'll put subplots and character/setting exploration. feel free to read them in any order!  
(and yes, I'm writing this [because Taylor told me to](https://twitter.com/cornhime/status/1147901701476798464).)

“You know, I really think you’re more awful than I am. And I’m a _demon_.”

The implicitly-not-a-demon cackled, tossing his head back. “Impressive, huh? They really don’t care, though.”

I’m-a-_demon_ shook his head, rolling his eyes. “Seiji, I’m serious. If you keep this up, you’re gonna Fall.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad –” The demon opened his mouth, but Seiji continued as though he hadn’t – “– I mean, _you’re_ Fallen, Sylas –”

“So I know what I’m talking about!”

“_So_ we’d both be on the same side, right? Nothing between us anymore?” There was a hopeful lilt to the second question, enough that Sylas almost wanted to agree.

Instead, he shook his head. “You don’t get it, Seiji. It’d be _worse_ if you Fell – demons don’t _do_ trust, or friends, or…”

Seiji laughed. “You’re saying it’s worse for a demon to be friends with a _demon_ than with an _angel_, then?”

“No, I –” Sylas groaned. He knew that the conversation was inexorably progressing towards the point where Seiji decided he had won. There were some things that were simply impossible to argue with him on – he could be stubborn and twisty all at the same time, pressing his point in indefinite permutations until anything Sylas said somehow supported what Seiji already believed.

“Then what is it?”

Sylas took a breath, forcing himself to think calmly. “Look, angel,” he began, knowing Seiji was always mollified when he called him that. “I _know_ you don’t care about any rules in Heaven or Hell. I mean… I know what it’s like up there. _Angels_ don’t do friends either, right?”

Seiji nodded, opening his mouth, but Sylas was just as good at steamrolling over polite conversational openings as Seiji.

“So we’re already doing something that isn’t _done_. I _get_ that. _Nobody_ Above or Below has what we have.”

Seiji grinned, looking up at Sylas with fluttering eyes, and leaned into Sylas’ shoulder just under his wing. At least Sylas knew what would always make him listen, for real, when he had something important to say. Seiji was definitely listening now, and Sylas smiled right back.

“I _know_ that nothing would convince you to treat me like angels treat demons or like demons treat each other, not even being cast into Hell. Believe me, I wouldn’t even if I could. So… please, Seiji, can’t you understand I don’t want you to get hurt?”

Seiji looked intently at Sylas, taking a deep breath of his own. He seemed to be looking _around_ Sylas, enough that Sylas checked to see if there was something just outside his field of vision. Before he could ask, though, Seiji started talking.

“I get that. I… I dunno how to explain it, though. Sometimes… well.”

He sighed, looking down at the glittering ocean from their cloudy perch.

“This is gonna sound crazy, but sometimes I think the world’s got it backwards. Like I was supposed to Fall instead of you.”

“What, so you’re trying to make up for it?”

“No, no. I mean, if I _wanted_ to Fall, I could. It’s not like I’m doing such a good job angeling that people let what I do slide. But… you’re _nice_, Sylas. You look at an angel who’s got what you should have and you watch him squander it, and all you’ve got to say about it is you don’t want him to get hurt. Isn’t that the kind of charity that gets humans sent to Heaven?”

“We’re _not_ humans –”

“I know, but… I don’t know. I told you it was crazy. All I have to do to remind myself you’re not missing out on anything Upstairs is picture you reporting to _Gabriel_.”

He said the name like the filthiest curse imaginable. Sylas nodded grimly.

“Yeah, I remember her.”

“And… I don’t know. Sometimes I think about Heaven, what they want me to do, how they want me to be, and I’m not sure it’s worth it. To hide the kinda guy I really am, deep down. To submit the world’s laziest reports, to kiss Gabriel’s ass…”

Sylas shook his head, nudging Seiji into a more upright position with his shoulder and scooting away.

“What, you think being a demon _isn’t_ a job? You can’t just be… sort of annoying, sort of a bastard, and call it a day! You have to lead humans to _ruin_, to convince them to be evil and cruel and greedy, and then you have to explain how whatever you did this century _corrupted_ however many of them to – to just the most _unpleasant_ people, Seiji, you’d talk to _any_ of my coworkers for ten minutes and come to me complaining about what a dick they are! And even if you feel like this time you did a _good_ job being evil, that you’re going to send a bunch of humans to Hell, they give you the slimiest and most judgmental look. And –”

He sighed, seemingly running out of steam. Seiji leaned closer, looking up into his face.

“And…?”

Sylas laughed bitterly.

“Well, this is gonna sound petty compared to everything else, but… I’m _cold_ all the time.”

Seiji sat up, raising his eyebrows. “Are you cold _now_?” He was more serious than he almost ever was, staring at Sylas with an intensity that seemed to pass through his corporation. Sylas blinked and looked away.

“Uh… no? I figured it’s ‘cause you’re around. Angels keep all the warmth to themselves, I guess.”

Seiji looked down at the ocean again. Sylas watched him, waiting for him to explain what he was getting at. He looked _serious_ still, and that bothered Sylas. Not the seriousness itself, but… something under the surface.

“Well,” Seiji finally said with a too-easygoing smile, “guess I’ll have to keep up passing it along to you. Can’t let my best friend freeze.”

Sylas frowned, about to speak up – demons and angels didn’t _need_ to be warm, he wouldn’t _actually_ freeze, so what did Seiji _really_ mean? – and Seiji laughed (again, a little too openly) and started to describe an éclair he’d particularly enjoyed recently. Sylas rolled his eyes. Seiji was never very good at changing the subject.

The sun went down, and by the time it rose again, the winged beings were finally gone.


End file.
